You Know You're Orthodox If...

*To you, the Virgin Mary is not a contradiction.

*After the Nativity Liturgy your priest shuts the Royal Doors before the choir and congregation sing Christmas carols.

*You wear green for Pentecost, not just for St Patrick's Day.

*Your non-Orthodox friends think the icons in your house are family photos.

*When you greet your Church family, some you kiss on the cheeks twice, some three times, and sometimes its awkward when you don't know which.

*You don't give up things for Lent, except certain foods, the amount of food, TV shows, movies, etc. Okay, so you do give up things for Lent.

*You consider your Sunday bulletin a legal document: if its not included, it didn't really happen.

*On Sunday mornings, your pet gets to have breakfast, but you don't.

*On fasting days, "travel" rules apply even if only going to Sitti's (Yaya's) house.

*You stand during church services until the bishop or priest motions for the congregation to sit down.

*When you tell people you're Orthodox, you can relate to Pontius Pilate when he asks, "Am I a Jew?" (John 18:35).

*On Facebook, not just your parents, but also your priest has commented "inappropriate" on something you've posted.

*During Liturgy, your priest says, "Let us depart in peace." JUST KIDDING: there's still more praying to do.

*Troy Polumalu is your favorite athlete and the Pittsburgh Steelers is God's team.

*You eat (more accurately vacuum) the crumbs from the Holy Bread out of your hands like you haven't had a meal in days.

*Your priest comes over to your home yearly for an exorcism, you call it a home blessing.

- A Day in the Life of the Youth Director